Log in


What is going on in my life right now.

Just beat "Catherine" (bad lover ending i guess.)
NBA 2k12
Battlefield 3
Mass Effect 3 on the way.
(Other random games, but these are the ones most of my time goes into)

Just recently finished the following:
Hunger Games Series, Vampire Academy Series & Spinoffs, Cat & Bones series + spinoffs, Chicagoland Vampires, The Alchemist, Tale of 2 cities, Outlander Series, Lolita , Sookie Stackhouse Series, Lost Symbol, 1Q84 & Game of Thrones book 1.

Reading Game of thrones book 2 with 3+4 on the horizon until any other ones that catch my attention come out.


Misfits (finishing up 3rd series now)
Always Sunny in Philly ( 5th season out of 7)
actually thats going to take awhile im watching a lot of shows. ill post them but not in detail

middle, modern family, glee, psych, big bang theory, tosh.o, grimm, sherlock, dr who, Sanctuary, Alcatraz, Shameless US, Shameless UK, Being Human US, Vampire Diaries,Smash, Whitney, Walking Dead, Raising Hope, Lost Girl, Fringe, Ancient Aliens, AI/Voice, Hung

I think those are the main ones. i throw random ones in here and there though but those are the ones i have left to watch episodes of.

Excited for new episodes of True Blood & Game of thrones. Denarius mmmmm


Seen chronicle last night, it was decent. Im excited for a lot of the blockbuster movies coming out like the hunger games (yah im a 12 year old girl stuck in a mans body i guess...) cuz i read the books and im curious how it transfers to film, Avengers, MIB3, new spiderman reboot, lost symbol if it ever happens.

Uhm John Carter, Prometheus, Frankenweenie, 21 jumps st., neighborhood watch, Batman, Hobbit
to name a few that im excited to see.

Todays agenda -
Go to sleep within the next couple hours.
Go to watch the 76ers play the bucks (Free ticket so worth the drive). Bulls beat the 76ers last night so im happy :D But it would be kinda nice if they lost tonight just to set them a lil further back from my boys :D.
Play some xbox sometime during the day maybe watch a tv show or 2. Stay up all night doing that probably then meeting some co workers to go play some basketball. Yay exercise! I cant think of any other exercise aside from sex that id rather do to work up a sweat than basketball. Working out is sooo boring, but i can play sports for hours. Im so out of shape though I can already see myself winded after 5 mins of play lol. It will be good though :)

I tried to record some with my microkorg xl this morning, for some odd reason it didnt show up with the USB thing to record directly, theres gotta be a way im looking into it.
my old website address expired so its changed, im too lazy to post it on youtube with the new one, but if anyone cares its www.abeautifulmess.tk instead of abmess.tk. i havnt done crap for a while with it though or recorded anything new.

ok im shutting up now. maybe ill sleep early. im kinda bored. i have like 0 friends or even random acquaintances online to talk to. to be fair though my list isnt that long anyway because either im too stubborn to talk to them because i always initiate and i hate that, or they just are always away/idle or dont respond and then i dont message them. why cant i find cool people that are like there a lot and i dont feel like i have to always reach out for them to talk. maybe i should be a lil less private and give my messenger info to people to get those random messages again. well from real people not the 'hi 21/f want to cam chat?' that i get daily on yahoo messenger or msn i cant remember which one.

now im blabbing to myself well i guess this whole thing is to myself, but yeah you suck dude.
get some friends. .. im just playing youre actually the coolest person i know. i love you. <3

Random Thoughts.

I never write here anymore. It use to be about one of my only outlets aside from music to get things off my chest, but anymore I just find myself trying to occupy myself with learning something/music/video games/movies/books to take my mind off them instead. I consider writing, but... I really dont know if it helps just to type it out or not.

0 friends. Not true really lol, but I cant think of more than 5 people that I talk to on a regular basis... maybe not even 5 ;x. Its tiring trying to hold together a friendship. It seems like its always me reaching. I think im done reaching.

I slept 11 hours today. It was soooo nice! Why? Well for one I only slept 5 the night before adn the last hour of work I was like actually dozing off while i was standing up. I went straight home and was out. Secondly because for the past month + I think ive had this like weird... pinched nerve/iflamed muscle in my upper back/shoulder area and its just been sooo annoying. It will be somewhat ok throughout the day with only a few spazzes, but when I wake up its always the worst. TOday I woke up and it was actually not bad at all. I mean i could slightly feel that its not completely gone, but it was a huge improvement of what it has been. I also got sleep which is good cuz usually thats whats been waking me up was the pain.

I need to request off for 12/21/2012. Just in case it is some apocalypse thing i really dont want to be at work. Most likely it wont be anything immediate, but it would be kinda awesome if the ancient astronaught theories were right and some ancient aliens come back and be like 'yo... we made you, we wanna take some of you to our other world now that youre more evolved' etc.. and I got to go. That would be kinda cool. Knowing my luck I would get to go and theyd be like 'Psych nigga! Youre our new janitor!' Or they could be a bunch of sodomites and try to take my butt virginity eh....

I like that show Whitney.. Shes a cool chick. On this episode i seen today she was making a jest about creating a funny tshirt business etc.. and said she had a garage full of t-shirts that said "I dont work for the post office, but I can still handle your package." It made me smile. I think the reason why I like her is because most chicks have this filter... and yeah filters are good and all in most cases, but its so refreshing to just know/have someone without a filter and just says what they feel, what they want etc.. without any kind of morality or hesitation about anything. I mean granted theres a time and a place for everything and I dont expect people to be like that with everyone, but it would be cool to have someone like that. I use to have a couple people I knew like that haha. One guy who unfortunately (reaching above) doesnt really keep in touch. And some random person i recently met on the internet, but we only talked like 3-4 times until they disappeared. Maybe I wasnt interesting enough.. :: shrug :: Maybe it was my constant doubt. I just couldnt fathom someone being so open and honest about many things that you dont hear anyone talk about, it was a bit disarming yet totally infatuating.

I havnt done a video in awhile or recorded anything aside from using my phone for quick voice recordings so I dont forget. My surroundings suck for doing any professional/decent recordings because of the people who live below me and my apartment is like a house that was built in the 1900's and i can hear people outside as if they were in the other room. And the mic picks alllll that up.

I miss that 'excitement/nervous' feeling. I cant remember the last time I had it.. maybe 5-6 years ago. Yanno that feeling when youre with a stranger and youre about to kiss or not even kiss, but just touch. Doesnt even have to be in a perverse way just holding hands or something. I think about that alot. Sometimes I wonder if its like... one of those things that people can lose or something. Yanno when you get so use to something its just like 'meh everyday thing.' or if i was around someone i was into or something that was unknown if it would return.

Im becoming more of a hermit as the years pass on. Partially by choice and partially because time/work just dont permit anything else - and im lazy. Not that im terribly angry about it because I mean i do things i enjoy like watching movies/sports or playing games etc... I travel when I can and hopefully will be doing more now that I can fly for much cheaper. But I need to get mroe exercise. I think ive gained like 20 lbs in the past 5 years. I have a 'belly' and i really dont like that... I already have a sticky butt so it doesnt really work out...

Sticky-butt (not to be confused with urban dictionary's definition of a homosexual or butt with cum on it etc..) - meaning my butt is kinda rounded/sticks out.. So whem in standing straight up from the side view its like

/ )
(( |

Ok i dot think that realy explains what i mean... but basically my but sticks out and my belly sticks out so its weird to me. I think sometimes i purposely push my stomach out more or dont concentrate on keeping it sucked in lol. I got sidetracked..... oh yeah hermit, basically i hate exercising and I dont have the friends to play sports with to get exercise so.... yeah. I wish i had more friends or someone to force me to do fun things involving sports or some other fun activity to get some more exercise. Exercising by yourself or at the gym is just kinda boring to me.

I onw find myself thinking of things to type, which means I have no more random thoughts or anything I want to divulge. I put far too much into my privacy and thining only a certain few elite people need to know anything really personal. Or I would just make the post private and whine that way. I guess it doesnt matter since hardly anyone reads this anymore lol. I think thats why im posting here because most people who i know probably left their livejournal looooong ago before blogger and tumblrs facebooks and myspaces were even out. Im kind of curious to see if anyone i follow/use to follow ever writes. I doubt it. Maybe ill take a quick look.

Aight. Until the next time i randomly come here.

moulin rougeee

my favorite movie of all time that holds such a huge part of me came out on Blu Ray... I just spent hte past 2-3 hrs watching special features and i still have some more to get to! <3333333 Gonna watch the film tonight for the 100th+ time probably.

Had to work a 12 hr shift today, but it wasnt so bad.

time flies. i wonder if anyone uses this site anymore. most people are obsessed with the facebooks meh.

that was my entry a few days ago.. for some reason it didnt go through loaded it from a draft just now.

anyway i still havnt made it through the special features due to workn stuf. doing that now then probably the film tonight <3

happy birfday to me.

well so far the month of august has blowed.
aug 1st my boss was suppose to relieve me at 5am so i could get to the airport in time to take my vacation in florida. she told me to start calling from 4am so she go tthere in time. i called for an hour straight no lie about 200 times and no answer. then i ended up getting a hold of this other lady who works my off days and she thankfully came in. ended up making it with like 10-15 mins to spare.

got to the hotel and gave them my reservation info and the guy kinda walks away with it and another lady came out. i was like great now what. turns out the company i made the reservation with 1800hotels went bankrupt a month ago. i made the reservation 2 months ago and they didnt bother to refund my $ or tell me they went under or anything. SO the hotel there didnt have any payment or anything. thankfully they had rooms and got the rate close to what i originally paid for the 4 nights it was like 450 bucks or something, but i now have paid twice. she id upgrade the room to a suite - kinda. it just had a hot tub in it, but i was in florida no real use for that.. it was really nice of her none the less. later that day i got an e-mail with a bankruptcy b10 claim pdf to fill out to send to get my refund and them telling me they went bankrupt. yeah thats nice just about a month late dicks. Im yet to fill it all out because legal things make my head hurt. they even have sections highlighted, but im like crap do i put anything there or not. meh, i need to just take time to read it over i think, i just hate things like that.

anyway moving on the time there itself had its up and downs. did a few things like went parasailing - not as extreme as i hoped was more peaceful and pretty. then went on this sea shell pickup/dolphin watch thing that was 'ok'. i got some sun which was good. first time in forever lol. anyway so i make reservations to have this shuttle pick me up to take me to the airport for the last day there or w/e and i go out to the beach for awhile and come back and i had 2 missed calls so i call and like 'uh yeah i got a call' and they are like 'yeah we came to pick you up' and im like 'why thats tomorrow?' and they said 'we have it for today.

well what happened was i filled out all the information and i didnt check a box. so i got an error saying check this box to proceed so i did and hit submit. it kept ALL my information in there credit card an everything BUT it reverted the date back to todays date. so i call the customer service people to see what happened and they blamed me of course saying its my responsibilty to check etc.. they only can put a REQUEST for a refund, but as of now that driver gets the money becaus ei was a no show. and im like well cant you just have him pick me up tomorrow since hes paid anyway, and they pick up people around there anyway. and they are like no it doesnt work that way, youd have to make another reservation and pay again. so im like F that. i did research for about an hour, but those bastards for the price have that area monopolized. thankfully the resort/hotel i was staying at took care of me once again and gave me a rate around what i had to pay them, but i wasnt going to pay that same place twice after they wouldnt refund me or reschedule. horrible customer service. so once again - paid twice getting there and leaving now for something.

make it to the airport and leave florida and go to my connecting flight in atlanta... was suppose to only have to wait 40 mins after i got there, but the flight got delayed until 7 (from 4), then got dealyed until 9 then 10 then FINALLY at 11pm (6+ hrs later) we leave and i get home at like 2am. this sucks cuz i had a 6 hr drive to indiana to visit family. so i slept for 3 hrs then made the drive then slept one i got here to indiana.

so yeah today is my birfday, but unfortunately its being overshadowed by my nephew. his birthday was a week ago, but my brother and his wife are throwing this movie in the backyard party for him and have all these people coming which is awesome, but its on my birthday so im just kinda being overlooked. i cant really say anything or pout cuz i mean im grown and its just a bday party, but my birthday is my favorite holiday. its like the ONLY day thats specifically for me yanno? I know its past the time where it actually use to be fun where everyone treated you like royalty and made you feel special for being brought into the world etc.., but still it was my day...

so now im kinda just sitting here in the basement all bored and depressed, but gotta put on a happy face in a bit when ppl get here. on top of that i was suppose to hang with my cousin who i hadnt seen in like 4-5 years and my brother didnt pick him up when i slept when i got here so by time he decided oh we can both get him my cousin was annoyed cuz it seemed liek it was a hassle for my brother - who was actually making TONS Of excuses but for the past month+ hes like yeah i can get him no problem etc.. on the bright side my cousin did get me a pretty awesome gift. 2TB external harddrive. i owe him a nice gift cuz thats like 130 bucks or something which is more than anything else ill be getting combined from anyone since my bro and sister and i had pretty much decided not to get anything for each other and call it even lol.

anyway i guess tha tparty starts in a couple hours. i only got like 4 hrs of sleep last night cuz my nephew woke me up being loud. i kinda layed down here and doze off , but it was like for 10-15 mins. so i kinda feel tired and restless.

anyway im gonna stop whining now. seems like i only come here to do this when i wanna whine.


I dont blog much, but recently ive been blogging @ http://radrico.blogspot.com instead.

quick update. today lebron makes his decision. im praying he comes to chicago.

here is my synopsis:

mia = he is NOT the king. shows that he needs 2 other all stars to win a ring. lame.
ny/nets = shows hes all about the $.
cle = $ and loyalty - id understand this movie.
chi = win championships immediately and dynasty.

aside from that vacation time coming up in 3 weeks! going to st petes beach florida w00t.
and then bday is aug 7th as usual. i guess i dont have coo e- friends anymore that send me gifts. oh the days when that happened <3 talk about feeling loved. actually even direct family like mom/siblings dont even do the gift thing anymore :/ meh.


i had a bad dream last night. since i dont really write about personal stuff figured why not maybe use my journal still as a dream one?

anyway... so me and my friend were like in some car thing and trying to defeat this train like monster or w/e and it was all dangerous n such and we decided to go ON the track, its hard to explain in words, but pretty much we were gonna use his like tentacle things against him because the train would grab stuff then smash it..

anyway so he went to grab and we somehow use his tentecles as a train track and did some like figure 8 thing in the air and ended up in front of the train on the track and just had to put on our breaks to stop the train or w/e so we did it. and for some reason in the dream it was scary.

well it switches then me and my friend get back to the house and i see my girlfriend on the park bench so im all happy and relieved to see her, and im expecting her to like come and hug me and kiss me and be like oh im so glad ur ok, but i guess we had broken up and i forgot bout it, and she was like in the extremely early stages of dating my friend. i was trying to act like i was cool with it i guess, but at the moment i couldnt handle it. so i tried just like walking off, but that didnt work. they were following me lik ei was leading the way somewhere and just walking and talking. then i found sebastian (my bear) on the ground and he had been like rained on and stuff and IRL i really do love that lil bear i still have him and well we've been through a lot. so anyway im happy i found him because i needed him. so i picked him up and started wringing him out cuz he was soaked and when i twisted to wring i guess some of his stitching by his head started to come out and his head was wobbly. so i thought this was a perfect excuse and said well i gotta go get this taken care of.

then my friend was like dont worry dude ill fix it just hang some more. and im like nah i gotta do this man. you dont know how to sew anyway. but somehow he convinces me to stay and we are watching some tv show that has lafayette from true blood in it lol. i kept trying to scoot lil by lil and escape hopeing they wouldnt notice my absence, but it never happens. dream switch.

now im waking up at the house where my friend lives i guess i slept over and i hear some noise and it was behind a door and i was about to go in it, and my friend says DONT OPEN THAT DOOR. he explains that its the clock fo death or something. an old alarm clock that if u open the door it turns vacuum cleaners on and its impossible to sleep with that sound or something? i unno. so im like fine w/e so then i go to the kitchena dn i hear the girls voice - appearantly she stayed over too :( then i proceeded to urinate in an icetray in the trashcan.

the end. i was sad in the dream :( sucked.


so i was just thinking about friends in general.. backing to everyone who i ever considered a really close friend or even a best friend... then i looked at today. nobody. despite my attempts to try to keep channels open and hang out or w/e people just seem to move on. eveyone in fact except me.

i mean ive moved on in life of course, but i mean most of my best friends or people i considered have just like got caught up with life and i was just discarded i guess - or thats how i feel.

even recent attempts to kinda lie go back and somehow make things like they use to be with friends have failed, and me being a proud leo or maybe just me... after me doing that once or twice and they dont seem to take the same initiative or passion to do so as i do.

heh... change.. ive never been a huge fan of change. living in memories sucks when you could be making them.

i dunno why im really making a blog about such things. possibly just boredom.

on other notes.. looking for a vacation destination. was thining about st petes beach/clearwater in florida, although with the oil spill that would negate that since the white sand beach/clear water is the prime reason to go there.

taking the vacation around my bday 1st of august (bday is the 7th).. so yeah.
i dont even really have any close e-friends now that i think about it ;p i suck.

my lame birfday list:
lebron coming to play for chicago
$$$$ paypal = radrico@gmail.com
which i will use to buy true blood on blu ray season 1 and 2 or a game that i might want at the time.

uh... lately did a duet again with this french chick virginie that i done before www.youtube.com/radrico

aside from that. no other big updates.


Decided to do a random entry since i hardly ever do.
I spend most of my time on YouTube (radrico) so yeah, other than that ive been pretty anti-social unless someone sends me a direct message - which doesnt happen too often.

lets see... i did a new cover today, but i havnt posted it yet. might try to experiment and add some cello / keyboard into it and maybe some backup vocals... i unno..

also i dont know how this couldve bypassed me but i had no idea about the whole Sumerian tablets/anunnaki thing. i just recently did some research and it was pretty interesting to say the least.

i recently just paid off my car! it was my first time ever being in debt, and im back out again... and let me say N E V E R again will i go into debt. i remember as soon as i signed the contract for the loan i just felt like utter caca... it felt like i like murdered someone and was keeping it a secret or something, well i guess i dont know how that feels, but if i try to think about it, the guilt would just eat me up. thats the kinda feeling it was. it was horrible :/ i dont see how.... well i guess most US people are in debt, but i dont see how they can just go on like its ok... i dunno. i just HATE owing someone especially the government or a bank or something like that. I pretty much put all my money to getting out of debt cut down on eating out/doing fun things going places etc.... but anyway... couple days ago made a payment of like 3k to pay the rest of it off to stop that interest that was adding up and now im out! yessssssssssssssssss...........

uhm.. i didnt elaborate on vegas too much, but that was pretty awesome. this hypnotist show was the best part of the whole thing. i regret not participating if they actually DID hypnotize me then it wouldve been so funny.

uh i dunno what else to really say. i doubt there are but 2 people that even read this crap anymore.
so on that note. bai!

happy birfday to me.

todays my birfday. we'll see how it goes. vegas was great. send all your love @ ytrico@gmail.com / pics/ vids / if u want to actually send moneys to me i can give you my paypal.

so... its that time again.

to do a rare update on a site i hardly spend time on, but just in case their are lurkers out there that like to check up on me that havnt in awhile, well..

my bday is coming up :D yay. any gifts can be sent to ytrico@gmail.com videos/pics/messages whatever.

and im going to LAS VEGAS! first time, on a budget, but still. its going to rock.

uhm i think thats all.